Peycho Kanev

 

Irresistible fear

 

 

Walking carelessly on the sidewalk

in my torn last year’s shoes

 

Feeling relentless or nothing at all,

dark clouds crossing the blue sky

 

fences, lawns, houses, closed doors,

faceless people between the walls,

trying to be whatever they told them,

loosing the firm grip on reality

 

I see something in front of me,

there is one woman with a child,

pacing together slowly towards me,

side by side like they should be

 

there is some thin red line

that goes from the mother to the child,

from her hand to neck of the kid,

yes, what a beautiful leash or is it?

 

hallucination I think and flick

my cigarette on the grass like a good boy,

they come near me and stop,

the kid start petting my head and say-

 

What a beautiful dog,

I try to run fast behind the corner,

feeling scared, I wet my self,

they just stand there, caressing me,

I start to howl.

 

 

 

Passion

 

 

Do it slowly,

while you breathe under the stars,

and although I told you that you are

sister of the moon, I was wrong,

she is only your insipid semblance.

 

Do not stop breathing,

I want to watch the nakedness of

the stars, their eternal arousal,

do not cover the universe with your

sparkling veil

 

what matters now is in the water

and under your skin.

 

slide.

 

 

 

Conclusion

 

 

You are undressing like

you are having medical exam.

 

That is so inadmissible.

 

Do you know how I feel?

 

my soul is broken at the edges,

my heart is forgotten mended drum,

my picture in your wallet burns

in the flames of the purgatory

 

and now

the old springs of the bed

make old, rusty sounds,

 

Do you know what I feel?

 

When we finish,

please,

put me in your purse

to dwell with all the other

lost artifacts.

 

 

 

Thinking

 

 

Yawning against the orange sun;

new day has begun,

the waves of the ocean are splashing

against the shore,

turning my fading dreams into spume,

new pain arrived,

exactly like the one that vanished with her

when she left,

and I turn in the bed,

watching the sun burnt body next to mine,

the gentle breathing,

thinking nothing about my life or hers,

thinking nothing,

thinking…

everything is so pure now,

after you’ve been scrubbed with the sandpaper

of this old lady

Sorrow.

 

 

 

The dogs

 

 

Sitting in this dingy room

in front of the keyboard

as the moon light penetrates

through the venetian blinds

as the bottle of white wine

pours the life into me

as the walls shift and get

darker

I am picking at the memories

and let them unfold in front of

me;

I remember now two years ago

visiting the country of my birth

in Eastern Europe

and what I’ve remembered most

were the dogs on the streets;

free and undisturbed, no owners,

no collars, no worries, no food,

lying in the parks, sleeping on

the grass between the highways,

picking at the garbage bins for

scraps, chasing the cats in the

alleys, taking their time, biting

the legs of the pedestrians and

at night when it’s quiet outside-

wailing at the moon;

why they do that I will never

know,

but know as this memory bites

the whiteness of the page,

one wail is blasting upon this

sleepy neighborhood, causing

the city dwellers to jump off

their beds.

my throat is sore.

 

 

 

 

copyright © peycho kanev

2009